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February 24, 2019

Heart on Consignment

I know I am not the only person who hears a certain song and it brings them back to a certain time in your life. Or a new song you hear on your Spotify discovery section that strikes such a chord with you, you are immediately brought to tears. You can feel your heart breaking all over again. It can even bring out emotions that you forgot you felt. You play the song on repeat, and share it with your closet friends. The words remind you of a love you lost, or that got away (sometimes they even run away).


Heartbreak is something that I have learned, or taught myself, to embrace. It inspires me. However, it's one of the most painful experiences you can go through, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. But there is something about being so in pain, so broken, that you learn to grow. It's not beautiful, it's not a gorgeous experience. It's like being stabbed in the heart over and over again, you hear his name and your stomach sinks. It's like all those lovely butterflies you had when you were falling in love, have now died. You feel dull, and achy. A shell of yourself. You don't dare wear makeup in fear that you may cry, because you never know when memory will strike. You wake up in tears, because in your dreams you are together - but you open your eyes, and you're alone.  

Lately, I have been resonating with songs about heartache and loss more than I'd normally like to admit. The songs that made me cry for hours, I can now listen to and sing with a sense of understanding. I am widening myself with a culmination of words and experiences from others in the world. We have all felt loss, but some, feel it so deep you can actually feel and witness their heart breaking. 

I consistently feel like I am meant to be alone, meeting many people and falling in love over and over again. But never finding that one person that is forever. I'll leave remnants of my love all over the world, but come home alone. 

I thought I would share my two recent favourite songs, to see if they make you feel something that you've been avoiding. 



I'm 11 minutes away and I have missed you all day
I'm 11 minutes away, so why aren't you here?


But all that glitters isn't gold, I was blinded
Should have never gave you my heart on consignment

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