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November 16, 2019

Letter To My Ex

Letter To My Ex
November 16, 2019
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6 years. 

That's a long period of time to dedicate all your love, time and energy to one person. I had rose coloured glasses on, and I was hurt over and over by a man whom I thought was my best friend and partner in crime. 

You were a really good actor, pretending to love and cherish me. To plan for children and a wedding, a future we both dreamed of. Always just a little bit out of our reach. Always working together to find a solution to a problem. I fell for it all. All the twisted lies, I saw the signs and I ignored them. 

I never in a million years thought that you would hurt me as badly as you did. You gloated to all your friends about her. About how you didn't care if I found out. You made me feel like I was crazy, like I was imagining everything. A neighbour two doors down, I hope that she makes you feel special and that she fills whatever void I could not fill for you. After so many years, after a house fire and everything else - you chose her over me. Do you even feel bad? Do you ever ache inside because I am no longer a part of you? 

You broke my heart in a deliberate and cruel way. 

You haven't been my love in a while and I have felt the loss of that for months. That I was no longer your #1. My pain comes from losing my best friend, in an act I would only think about happening to anyone but us. 

I know you don't feel bad. Your friends all knew. You were so happy and pleased with yourself for doing what you were doing for so long with her. What did I ever do to deserve this? Was I really that terrible to you? Why wasn't my love good enough? Why did a 45 year old woman become better for you than me? You got off on the hurt that you caused. You made it look so easy to do this to me, after I loved you so hard and helped you in everyway. 

You did the one thing I would never get over. You did the one thing that would break me, break us. Why didn't you just talk to me about what you were feeling? Why this? Why her? 

I'll never find out the answers to my questions, and that's okay. Someday, somewhere, someone will love me so much and the pain and the thought of you will be nothing but a fuzzy memory. 

It's goodbye for us. 

This dance has been killing me slowly. 

Maybe one day I'll see you at the grocery store, and I'll give you a smile. Maybe then you'll realize what you've lost. The girl who loved you more than anything, who would have done anything for you - and you threw her away like yesterday's newspaper.



July 20, 2019

Flower Power : Tulips

Flower Power : Tulips
July 20, 2019
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Last year, I dreamt of tulip fields when I was researching travel to Holland. They have the most beautiful tulip festival, so naturally, I started to search for tulip options closer to home. I found one in British Columbia and one in Prince Edward Island. Of course, the 2 hour trip to PEI was a far more economical option for me to see the beauty of tulip fields.



I spent 1 year lusting over the tulip fields and when it was finally "that time" we spent hours frolicking through the fields, enjoying the beauty and ignoring the mosquito population that was taking great pleasure in biting our legs. We stuck to the designated paths (since it is a farm/business) and we were in awe of the million tulips blooming. The next day, I was in a different kind of awe at  the million of mosquito bites on my body - but the memory of the beautiful flowers made it all worth it. 

In all honesty, the experience was better than if Tom Hardy magically appeared in front of me right now and gave me a kiss.






May 15, 2019

Hibiscus Flower Child

Hibiscus Flower Child
May 15, 2019
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I love to do things while travelling that are specific to the location that I am visiting. In Maui, my travel bucket list was small, but meaningful. 

1. Swim with Sea Turtles
2. Learn How to Surf
3. Go Snorkelling 
4. See the Haaleakala Sunrise 
5. Hibiscus Tub Photoshoot with Maui Flower Tub
6. Road to Hana
7. Try Banana Bread
8. See Surfboard Fence in Paia

I have to admit, my Maui travel bucket list grew as I spent more time there - and I definitely did accomplish things I am so proud of. It's a place that I need to go back to as soon as I possibly can. One of the highlights of my trip was my photoshoot with Maui Flower Tub in Kula. It was a beautiful morning, the tub was incredible and Alexandra & her assistant were just fabulous. The change room to change bathing suits was outside surrounded by bamboo and avocado trees - it was a literal dream. I am so happy I chose to do this beautiful hibiscus photoshoot, it definitely boosted my confidence and I love the results. I would suggest that if you go to Maui; check out Maui Flower Tub and treat yourself to some beautiful photos you'll cherish forever.

























May 14, 2019

Beach Body

Beach Body
May 14, 2019
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How do you achieve the perfect beach body? It's easy. 

Step 1 : Have a body

Step 2 : Go to the beach



I know that sometimes it's not that easy. Self confidence can affect how you feel in your swimsuit, but trust me - getting out in the sunshine, the fresh air and near that salty sea water; you'll feel so happy and will forget about it all. 

Everyone has feelings of insecurities about their body. While I was in Maui, I was far too happy to worry about my cellulite on my thighs or my little belly bloat where I keep my extra cookies. I find that following people on Instagram (where I spend a lot of time scrolling) that have similar body types as myself, it can help me feel more confident and get that "she looks amazing!" feeling towards my own body. The body positivity movement is so inspiring. 




May 3, 2019

Mermaid's Tears

Mermaid's Tears
May 3, 2019
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When you spend time admiring the ocean, and all the creatures that call it home, you discover how important it is to do everything you can to protect the magical depths of the deep blue sea. 

Education is key to preserving our oceans. Education for me and the ocean started at age 7 and never stopped. I cherished the time I have spent in Maui among surfers and mermaids, who spend majority of their lives soaking up rays in the salt water appreciating nature. 

There are some small things you can do to help preserve the ocean and all it's groovy magic. 



1. Use Reef Safe Sunscreen - Sunscreen chemicals are TOXIC to coral reefs! Avoid sunscreens with chemical oxybenzone. The effects of oxybenzone on our fragile ecosystem should not be ignored. Have you ever heard of coral bleaching? It's not pretty. 

2. Don't Throw Garbage in the Sea - This one is pretty straight forward. Would you appreciate someone leaving litter in your home? Reduce, Reuse, Recycle my friends. 

3. Make Safe, Sustainable Seafood Choices - Global fish populations are rapidly being depleted due to demand, loss of habitat, and unsustainable fishing practices. Assist in reducing the demand for an over-exploited species by choosing seafood that sustainable and eco-friendly.

4. Don't Purchase Items that Exploit Sealife - I see that super cute coral necklace and tortoiseshell bracelet. They are definitely beautiful, but that's because they came from our gorgeous Mother Nature. Admire from afar, and do not contribute to the exploitation of marine life populations and coral reefs. 

5. Choose to be a Anti Single Use Plastics Connoisseur - Opt out of using plastic straws, plastic bags, plastic water bottles.. there's always an easier option. We just tend to float towards the more convenient option. So much single use plastics end up in our oceans. Treat yourself to a chic crochet grocery bag, or stainless steel straws. You'll feel great, and look fabulous. 



Travel Diaries : Maui, Hawaii

Travel Diaries : Maui, Hawaii

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April 20th, 2019 : I spent hours last night picking the cutest swimsuits and dresses to bring on my first adventure to Hawaii. I am participating in a super cute photoshoot with hibiscus flowers in a tub, in a beautiful outdoor space with a yellow and purple haku lei. I'm so excited! I just want to drink all the lemonade, eat all the shaved ice, swim with sea turtles and learn how to surf. I love to travel, and this is going to help keep the travel itch at bay until my 30th birthday trip to Paris, France in December. Is it weird that I'm kind of nervous? I've measured my carry-on bag, I have a checklist prepared. I'm good to go! The count down is officially ON.



April 23rd, 2019 : Work today was an absolute blur, all I have on my mind is the smell of sunscreen and seeing palm trees. Alarm is set for 345AM for my early morning flight to Maui, and I am so excited I actually can't even sleep. 

April 24th, 2019 : Moncton > Montreal > Calgary > Maui. So many flights, so much time. But definitely worth it. The flights were more boring than usual, and I was so excited to get to Maui - but was far too tired to deal with the actual flying aspect of the trip. When I landed in Maui, my hair immediately got huge, frizzy and curly from the humidity. A la Monica in Friends when she went to the Bahamas. I purchased some food for the condo, and got settled in. I can see palm trees, and hear the waves crashing - I don't think my heart can hold anymore joy than this very second.




April 25th, 2019 : I slept like an absolute baby, and woke up to the waves crashing and my sister opening a container of croissants and my Mom was making coffee. We ran out to the beach in our pyjamas to watch the sun rise, and the skies were a beautiful blue/purple/yellow kaleidoscope of colour. I drank the best açai juice for breakfast and took a walk to the local harbour to check out the area. We discovered a cute little shop with local made Maui Kombucha on tap. I tried the prickly pear kombucha and it was the coolest bright pink colour. It made me so happy! I also got a chance to visit the Pacific Whale Foundation, was absolutely inspired, and had the opportunity to sign a pledge to refuse plastic straws. I purchased some kicka** vintage Hawaii postcards from the 1960's and 1970's on my harbour adventure for when I make a shadow box when I return to my homeland. When we returned to the condo, I proceeded to drench myself in reef safe sunscreen, threw on a cute yellow one piece bathing suit, grabbed our snorkelling gear and headed for the waves. The water was so beautiful, I struggled quite a bit with swimming as the currents were very strong - but I was able to see beautiful corals and reef fish with my brother. We had a quick change, bite to eat and back into the ocean where we found an amazing formation of coral and sea urchin - but sadly, I lost a battle with a sea urchin and ended up with burns and deep, bleeding cuts on my left foot, toes, right knee and right upper thigh. That was enough swimming for me! Of course, I started to Google sea urchins and found out that most are poisonous and will cause swelling, infection and sometimes even death. But on a positive note, I was able to take some beautiful photos of scenery and flowers, and ended the day eating Hawaiian shrimp and watching the sun set. On to the Road to Hana and Haleakala Sunrise tomorrow. Alarm is set for 3AM. Bedtime is set for 7PM (seriously, the jet lag has hit)



April 26th, 2019 : We woke up at 3AM, grabbed a quick breakfast of greek yogurt and açai juice and hit the road to Haleakala (The East Maui Volcano) to watch the sunrise. It was absolutely breathtaking watching the skies change colour, and embrace the sun. We were 10,023 feet above sea level, and above the clouds. It was like we were literally on cloud 9. We got separated from the rest of the family, so Olivia stayed near the visitor centre to film her vlog, and I headed up to the utmost top of the volcano. Being alone on top of a volcano was an absolute delight. I may have been freezing cold, but the sight was something I will never forget. After we were finished at Haleakala, we hit to road to Hana. There was a field of lavender that made me feel so calm and relaxed and so many gorgeous purple trees along the way. We stopped at the cutest little shop to grab smoothies. I got a super tasty Lava Flow smoothie that tasted like a strawberry milkshake in Paia, which is basically a super hippie surfer town. There was a fence made of surf boards, and I quickly changed outfits from the warm outfit for Haleakala (it was freezing up there!) to a cute two piece number from ASOS. Oh, did I mention I did this in a portapotty on the side of the road? No shame in my game. We saw waterfalls, explored the rainforest, saw eucalyptus trees, lava tunnels and black sand beaches. I even had a very handsome gentlemen help me (a damsel in distress and wearing a dress) down from a insane climb down some lava rock. The only flaw in this day was my thighs were rubbing together so much from all the walking that I ended up walking around like how Phoebe runs in Friends for the rest of the day to avoid more chaffing. When we finally arrived back home, we saw so many turtles hanging out by the beach at our condo but I forgot to charge the GoPro so Matthew was furious with me. I was able to catch some pretty amazing footage of a sea turtle beside us in the water. But, I know for sure that I'll charge that bad boy up tonight in case tomorrow holds sharks or sea turtles for us.




April 27th, 2019 : We woke up early to see the sunrise, and it was quite beautiful, but we weren't able to get the photos we wanted as there were far too many people watching. We got dressed and headed to the local swap meet (kind of like a flea market) where I purchased a bunch of beaded bracelets, a jade bracelet, mango lemonade and a sarong. I was so happy with my jade bracelet, but it shattered while I was trying on a surf suit while we were shopping. I was devastated. I have always struggled with finding the perfect jade bracelet. Here's to hoping I can super glue it back together. I also have been dreaming of license plate art that I saw at the Swap Meet and I really want to order one online as I didn't bring enough cash with me. After the swap meet I got to try my first açai bowl (delicious!) with banana chips and strawberries. Quickly changed into my new Hawaiian print surf suit and headed to the beach to see some turtles. Kyle says my Hawaiian print suit is the Hawaii version of camouflage and I laughed really hard about that. We came across the beach we wanted to go to, but there was a shark sighting so the swimming was closed. This only encouraged my need to swim there, but my Mom quite literally threatened my life if I was to swim there so we went to a beach 3 minutes away instead where the waves were 15 feet high, the surfers were crushing the waves and we almost drowned. Literally. We got caught in 3 giant waves where we were somersaulting in the shore break under the water. This beach (we found out later) is one of the most dangerous in all of Maui, and is known as the neck breaker beach for the exact situation that happened to us. That was enough action for us at that beach, so we dried off in the sunshine and headed to explore some more. I was able to try the Wow Wow Lemonade in the Lava Flow flavour and it was so delicious! We went to another beautiful beach, went snorkeling again and met a giant sea turtle. I was picking up small seashells on the shore and a little surfer boy with a cute flat beak hat came over and helped me pick up sea glass and shells - he was adorable! Definitely made me realize how badly someday I want a beach baby. There are hardly any fast food joints around here, and it makes me so happy to eat and drink all this delicious and real food. After we got back to the condo again, we had a quick bite to eat and tried to snorkel some more to find some turtles but the water was too rough and murky for us to see anything so we watched the sunset and went off to dreamland in preparation for Lahaina tomorrow.



April 28th, 2019 : I woke up to a tropical thunderstorm, and I LOVED every minute of the rain. The sound of rain and thunder is one of my favourite things in the world. Tomorrow is the day of my tub photoshoot, so I am very excited. I have everything prepared, and I am going to paint my nails red to match my bathing suit and curl my hair. I sincerely hope I remember to shave my legs as well... I need to pick some flowers to bring as extra to fill the tub. The sun finally started to shine around 8:00AM, I threw on some Levi 501 shorts, a bathing suit and tied a palm tree print shirt and went outside for some quick photos of a beautiful flower I picked and to recreate some epic Pinterest inspired shots. We decided to head to Lahaina to hit up the beaches, even though the forecast said thunderstorms. I got a pineapple juice in a pineapple along the way, and boy - was it delicious! Mother Nature was kind to us, and we found some amazing beaches with crystal clear blue waters with fish and sea turtles galore. I'm still in awe with the fact that I was able to swim with a sea turtle. It was so beautiful and I was so enthralled. I did however get a huge sunburn on my buns and back of my legs from snorkelling (even with wearing 30 SPF), and so when we finally arrived back to the condo I slathered aloe vera all over my body to help with the healing. We found some outlet shops and there was a lovely Kate Spade store, but I left the outlets with an olive green Adidas cap for the casual Hillary style. I have prepared my body as much as I can for my photoshoot tomorrow - I am so ecstatic! There's nothing I love more than flowers and fashion. Early bedtime, freshly painted red nails and a face mask is how I ended my day.



April 29th, 2019 : Photoshoot Call Time : 9AM, Distance from Condo : 34 Minutes. I woke up at 5:00AM full of excitement and exhaustion. My burn kept me up part of the night, and when I tried to do my hair - the curls wouldn't hold. So the day didn't start off on the right foot, but after I saw the beautiful sunrise - my mood started to change. I tried to curl my hair again, and it worked. I did a quick under eye and lip mask to prepare myself for the shoot. Put on very basic eyeshadow and mascara with a tad bit of a tinted lip moisturizer and I was on my way. I have to admit I was very anxious and nervous about the shoot, but was welcomed in such a positive manner and in a very safe environment that I was instantly put at ease. We had a fun shoot with pink and purple balloons and my two piece ASOS swimsuit. Fun fact : I changed in an outdoor change room made of growing bamboo - was the coolest thing ever, there was also avocado growing everywhere I could see. After that I was able to wear my haku (flower crown) and take photos in a tub full of gorgeous hibiscus flowers, I used both my red flower appliqué suit and the white two piece for these shots and it really felt empowering. I can't wait to see the final results. Once I was picked up from my shoot in Kula, we headed to Paia to check out the little surf town. It is very chill, and cool down there and has really cool vibes. They put stickers on EVERTHING (street signs etc) and the entire town has this surfer/earthy vibe - I love it. We came home and ate some delicious food and went for a quick swim. I tried body surfing for the first time - and found it incredibly difficult. For happy hour, we adventured to Beach Bums restaurant and I had fish tacos with DELICIOUS pineapple coleslaw and a margarita. I was able to go back to the Pacific Whale Foundation to get a sticker for my laptop, some disposable straws (made of paper) and some patches for my new travel backpack. Life is good. The second time we went out body surfing, I was able to surf far better than the first go at it - but I quite literally almost ripped off one of my toes on the reef so I had to take a break as the blood in the water was a sure fire way to attract some tiger sharks. My sister assisted me with my toe, and I left a trail of blood from the beach to the condo. This trip has blessed me with so many scars, but it's been so much fun that I barely feel any pain. Time for a quick face mask, water and then bed. I plan to get a lot of fun things done tomorrow - and I am very excited.



April 30th, 2019  : I woke up before everyone else did today, so I enjoyed some nice quiet time with some acai juice. I watched the sunrise and shot some blog photos. We drove into Lahiana to take our surf lessons at Goofy Foot surf school. It was fun! I definitely need practice, but my brother was a rock star. The surf hottie that checked us in to the surf lesson made my day by complimenting my smile - he was a total babe with blonde, curly hair. After our surf lessons were done, I definitely was on the lookout for the surfer hottie - but he must have been done his shift. Isn't life funny how you can meet someone and you have a little moment together and then it's just *poof* gone. I actually truly love those moments. You can meet such beautiful people all over the world, and it really encourages me to get out of my comfort zone and travel more than I do already. After surfing, I bought a new Kate Spade purse, clutch and bright pink laptop case. I have been decorating my laptop with stickers from my travels and I want to keep it safe, plus Kate Spade is my bread and butter. After wiping out so much during surf school, I deserved a treat (or three). Right?! We ended the day snorkelling with sea turtles and what seemed to be a million fish, watched the sunset and sang old school tunes on the way to the condo. Checked into our flights for tomorrow (I'm so sad to leave!) and tucked into bed. Tomorrow is my last day on this beautiful island and I really plan to make the most of it.



May 1st, 2019 : I woke up early to take beautiful photos on the beach outside of our condo at sunrise, and on the twin palm trees. We had to sneak photos on the palm trees, since there is a literal sign to not go near them. But, I read the rules before I break them. I was kind to the trees, I didn't climb, just a low key lean. We had a quick boogie board session in the waves for about an hour, where I got more battle scars from the reef on my knees, and then had a quick shower to get ready for checkout. Did I mention yet that I'm super sad to leave Hawaii? I really can picture myself living here, it's very lowkey and down to earth. I love the person I am while I travel. Checkout time was 11AM and our flight was at 912PM. We had lots of time to explore, so we hit up some shops and were on our way to LAX.



May 2nd, 2019 : The flight to LAX with United was the worst flight I've ever had in my entire existence. Even worse than that one from the Philippines with the crazy turbulence. I slept a little bit on the flight with Air Canada from LAX to Montreal, Montreal to Moncton was a nightmare as per usual. Always because of the miserable staff that inevitably have working on that flight.

May 3rd, 2019 : I miss Hawaii so much, and I must return as soon as possible. I miss the sunshine, the fresh air and fruit, the sand, the kind people... I miss it all.


March 17, 2019

Hundred Acre Woods

Hundred Acre Woods
March 17, 2019
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You hear people talking often about nothing more Canadian than Tim Hortons and hockey. I have to say that I completely disagree (I'm sorry).  To me - there's nothing more Canadian than bundling up and going for a walk in the brisk cold to a maple sugar shack in the middle of the woods. If you think about it, Canadians quite literally stab trees and then drink their "blood" - that's pretty much as savage as we can get though.







The smell of the fire burning, the taste of maple taffy and snow mixed together is something that evokes such emotions and memories. My Mom would take us to a Maple Sugar festival in Ontario when we were youngsters, field trips to the maple sugar woods were always at the top of my out of the classroom adventures along with going to see the bat cave at the ROM (of course). 

I'm filled with such joy that I could bring my beautiful little sister to the maple woods for her first time. We bought bundles of maple treats, and ate maple taffy off of the snow. We may have had frozen fingers, a maple high, sticky syrup everywhere and rosy cheeks by the end of our adventure, but it was so worth it. 


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